Stuff Moms Say

An Overview of the Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy

An Overview of the Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy

Gestational surrogacy whereby the surrogate is not in any way related to the unborn child she is carrying is one of the most common today, especially in Las Vegas. This option of enjoying parenthood has assisted a lot of couples, surrogate Las Vegas and as well as individuals to bring up their own families and this explains its growing popularity. If you are considering this path to parenthood there are a few important things that you should know about how it works and the costs involved. Here are some of the requirements for gestational surrogacy that you ought to know.

What is Gestational Surrogacy, Who might be Considering it and What are the Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy?

In this type of surrogacy, the child so born is not related to its mother, referred to as a gestational carrier, biologically. The embryo is usually created using the in vitro fertilization (IVF) method using the sperm and eggs of the intended donors or parents. The embryo is then transferred to the surrogate.

This type of surrogacy is referred to as full or host surrogacy. This type of surrogacy is less legally complicated compared to the other types as one of the intended parents or donors is related to the child genetically. This eradicates the need for second-parent or stepparent adoption. The following group of people might consider going for gestational surrogacy;

  •  Optimistic single parents
  •  People struggling with infertility
  •  A person who is unable to carry a pregnancy for the whole term
  •  Same-sex couples
  •  People who prefer to have a child through a surrogate but don’t want the child to have a genetic link with its mother.

Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy

The first thing among the various requirements for gestational surrogacy is finding a suitable surrogate. There are agencies that you can use to assist you in landing the best surrogate to help carry your child to term.

These agencies usually prefer to have the surrogates aged between 21 to 39 years old, have a BMI of 18 – 32, they must have given birth and at least raising one child and hold OB/GYN records. They should also be non-smokers living in a non-smoker room and their records should not have uncomplicated deliveries or pregnancies documented.

You must also consider the gestational surrogacy laws that exist in your state, as they are normally determined by each state on its own. There are some states that do not allow any form of surrogacy at all. You can get an attorney or other professional to help you understand the various gestational surrogacy laws that apply in your state before making the decision.

The next and very important requirement is the cost involved in gestational surrogacy. The cost is often determined by a number of things such as the surrogate, medical technology used as well as the monthly allowance and compensation for the surrogate mother. On average, gestational surrogacy might cost in the range of $75,000 – $150,000. This figure consists of legal fees agency fees, counseling costs and the living expenses as well as the compensation of the surrogate mother.

Although this process seems long and somewhat a challenge, it is a rewarding experience for optimistic parents who want to expand their families. Or experience the joys and challenges of raising their own child. Following all the above requirements for gestational surrogacy will ensure that you go through the process successfully.



Surrogacy For Gay Couples

Surrogacy For Gay Couples

Today, it is normal to see same-sex marriages everywhere in the world. However, since it is impossible for these gay and lesbian couples to have babies on their own, surrogacy is the only other option to have babies besides adoption.

Surrogacy for gay couples involves taking semen from one of the partners and combines with an egg from a donor. When the embryos are produced, they are artificially planted onto the womb of the gestational carrier, according to This is a woman who agrees to carry the pregnancy for the couple and deliver the baby for them.

Surrogacy tips for gay couples

Most of the gay couples looking to have a baby through In Vitro Fertilization do not have a wide group of surrogates to choose from. It is for this reason that many gay couples choose a relative or a friend to act as the surrogate. However, there are agencies that are coming up for this sole reason. These agencies provide gay couples with surrogates for a fee that is agreed upon between the couple and the gestation carrier.

Below are some of the tips to consider in case of surrogacy for gay couples:

  • The woman should have had previous childbirths without  complications. The period of pregnancy should also have been uneventful.
  •  The woman should be stable emotionally and physically and healthy too.
  • In order to be certain, it is crucial that a full evaluation be done on the woman. You should have a lawyer. This is because there has to be signed agreements and consents between the gay couple and the surrogate. These documents should include the amount payable to the surrogate, the payment terms and conditions and the responsibilities of the surrogate. These documents are important because they can be reviewed in case of disagreements later due to a breach of trust.
  • A lawyer is also necessary to help you through all the legal requirements when you are going for surrogacy for gay couples. This is because there are many regulations and laws surrounding this subject. It is therefore imperative to ensure that you fully understand and comply with these laws.
  • Do a proper research on the surrogacy agency you choose. In case you choose to get your surrogate from an agency, it is important that you carefully go through their terms and conditions before you pick your surrogate. This is because different agencies have different policies concerning their interactions with gay couples looking for surrogates. With proper background checks and research, you are in a better position to choose the best agency to get your surrogate.

Surrogacy for Gay Couples

Above all the listed tips, it is essential to get the In Vitro Fertilization from an experienced and qualified medical practitioner. This is because it increases the chances of getting a healthy pregnancy and delivery. It also ensures that the process is safe for both the surrogate and the baby.

The practitioner should have the legal documents to show they are legit and registered by the necessary authority. Their price ranges should also be affordable to you. Very cheap prices are however a red flag because they may mean that they are not very efficient in their job.



Requirements to be an Egg Donor and a Surrogate Mother

Surrogacy is one of the most significant undertakings a person can take in her life. When you agree to be a surrogate mother, you are not only giving up your body and your energy, it will feel like you are giving a small piece of yourself. The decision to become a surrogate mother isn’t one that can be taken lightly, according to

Instead, it is a decision that will need to come after willful thinking and even some discussion with your family and friends. Still, those that decide to help another family become complete are giving the most precious of gifts.

As you journey down the path, you will find that being a surrogate mother or a gestational carrier has many positives and you will learn quite a bit about yourself as you help others. Many start being a surrogate mother to receive the financial compensation, but find that they get much more out of it than money.

Requirements to be an Egg Donor and a Surrogate Mother

Some of the most important qualities to be a surrogate mother aren’t things that we can measure or test in a traditional sense – you need to be compassionate, committed, safe, healthy, and mentally stable. You need to be safe while you are pregnant and giving birth so that the baby can be safe – you are an important part of this mixture. Being a surrogate mother or an egg donor means that a lot is expected of you.

Every surrogacy institute and egg donor resource has slightly different requirements for someone to be an egg donor or a surrogate mother. Some of the most basic requirements are the same, however

  •         Between 21-39 years of age
  •         BMI between 18-34
  •         Being a non-smoker living in a non-smoking home
  •         No history of clinical mental illness or current treatments
  •         Have had a successful pregnancy yourself
  •         Certain medications can make you ineligible
  •         Free of certain medical conditions

These are just a few of the most basic requirements. There are a few others that can increase your chances of being chosen as a surrogate. Most of the ones above focused on creating a healthy physical environment for the baby you will carry. Two of the most important ones that often make women ineligible include:

  •         Not currently on governmental financial support or Welfare
  •         Financially sound without help from intended parents

Many women can be wonderful mothers and take care of their families while getting help from the government – and many families have gotten through on government aid. However, this is a risk factor that many intended parents take into account when they are selecting a surrogate.

Women who receive government aid tend to have more stress in their lives and tend to work more jobs, which can make the pregnancy harder.

Being pregnant is a stressful enough situation, so adding to that is worse when the surrogate mother still has to work jobs or faces other stress.

  •         No history of criminal activity/unlawful behaviors
  •         A stable, responsible lifestyle without stress or other risk factors

A surrogate mother needs to be an upstanding citizen. A prospective surrogate will have to give information about her past when she fills out forms, and it is unlikely that an intended couple will pick someone who has a criminal history, even if that person has completely changed over the years.

It should seem obvious why people want to know so much about surrogate mothers and their history – you are giving them one of the most precious things they will ever have: a child. It might seem intrusive at times, but if you work with a qualified surrogacy or egg donor agency, you are going to have treatment that will be respectful and tactful – you do not have to worry about feeling like you are put on show.

Take some time to think about whether or not you really want to be a surrogate, and if you meet the requirements above, then you can move on to thinking about helping a family grow.



Five Things Toddler Moms Know To Be True

Being a toddler parent is like being part of a special club: a club of unwashed, tired people who live on broken goldfish crackers, dinner scraps, and coffee.


5 Things Toddler Moms Know To Be True 

 1. If you want to wipe a toddler’s nose you have to sneak up on them like a ninja assassin. This is why we wear soft-soled shoes. So they can’t hear us creeping up from behind with a tissue in hand. The next step is to put your toddler into what looks to the outside world like a chokehold but we know we’re just keeping their head still we get all of those boogers.
2. Baby wipes are not just for baby butts. Baby wipes can double as a toddler mom shower on days you don’t make it into the actual bathtub. They’re also great for wiping up stubborn vomit or yogurt that exploded in your diaper bag. Baby wipes are to toddler moms what a swiss army knife is to a survivalist.
3. Crying = better sleep. Toddler moms know that the harder a kid cries at the park, the harder that child will sleep later on. The trick is to not let them fall asleep in the car. Headbanger rock or gangster rap pumped at high volumes and keeping the windows down can help with that.
4. Toddlers want what you have. The trick to getting a toddler to eat is letting them think they’re stealing from you. If you act like your bowl of rice is your greatest treasure and that you’ll be devastated should your toddler take a bite, your kid will probably eat the whole thing while maintaining eye contact to make sure you’re suffering.
5. Never celebrate a win. Is your toddler sleeping through the night? Does your toddler finally seem potty trained? If you dare brag on Facebook your child will instantly regress six months. This is a fact of the universe. We don’t make up the rules, we just live by them.



Welcome to the club.

Dear Mom. I Get It Now.

Dear Mom,

It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I began to understand what it is you did for me.

Now I know what it feels like to meet your baby for the first time and feel your heart explode in joy.

Now I know what it feels like to sit up all night with a feverish child.

Now I know what it feels like to go to bed knowing you did all you could but wishing you could have done more.

Now I know what exhaustion really means; not just your body being tired but your mind, every fiber of your being so spent, and then seeing that it’s only 4PM.

I know what it’s like to wake up every two hours with a newborn who needs to be fed and changed in the darkness of their room.

I know what it’s like to put a meal together only to have it rejected over and over again.

I know what it feels like to feel like it’s all too much sometimes.

I know what it feels like to wish there were five of you so you can get it all done.

I know, now.

And I want to say thank you. Thank you for being there, for not giving up, for not checking out or running away. Thanks for being there for me when I needed you the most.

You’re an inspiration to me. You rocked me, fed me, clothed me, and loved me even when you felt like closing your eyes and falling into bed.

Your sacrifice is not wasted. I’m who I am because of what you poured into my life.

I’m a mom now and have my own little one. On my hardest days I’ll look at my child and remember five little words that will make all the difference, “She did it for me.” You did it for me, I can do it for them.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Love, your child.


The Five Moms You Meet On Facebook

Anyone else notice that there are five specific types of moms on Facebook? Here’s how they’d all respond to a simple question in one of those local Facebook groups.

Hey moms! My 2-year-old has a fever. Any advice? 

1. The Perfect Mom

“Oh poor you! My little one has never been sick on account of his amazing immune system. We also eat an organic, local, paleo, sugar-free, cruelty-free, vegan diet and he’s never had dessert. Homeschooling also cuts down on illnesses. I just finished creating his third grade curriculum and can’t believe he’s reading two years ahead of his peers. Did I mention his immune system? He tested three immune systems ahead of his age group. Good luck with your little one!”

2. The Mommy Shaming Mom 

“Shouldn’t you be calling a doctor and not on Facebook? What if your child’s fever spreads to their brain? Just please keep your little sickie home so he doesn’t infect the healthy children at the park. I hope you’ve stopped reading this and are taking care of your child. Maybe if you’d paid more attention in the first place your child wouldn’t have contracted the virus causing the fever. Way to go.”

3. The One-Upper Mom

“Fever? My child has ebola right now. It’s awful. And a broken ankle. And she stutters. And don’t forget the eczema. Here’s a link to 40 photos where you can see her skin rashes in full HD Feel free to print them out.”

4. The Natural Mom

“Fevers are a sign that your child’s root chakra is cloudy. Are you breastfeeding? I hope so. Mix two tablespoons of turmeric, 8 ounces of breastmilk, and one teaspoon of raw manuka honey in a marble bowl and that should clear right up. I also recommend a crystal healing session to clear any issues that are still lingering from your child’s birth experience. If you had a c-section that explains a lot.

5. The Relaxed Mom 

“Eh. Slap some Tylenol on that and it should go away on it’s own.”


Dear Exhausted Mom

Dear Exhausted Mom,

I know you can’t remember the last time you had a good night’s sleep. I know you’re trying to remember what being rested feels like. I know you’re tired of being up before the sun, making breakfast while it’s still dark, and being so tired you could cry…or do cry.I’m not here to make it better because I can’t.

I’m not here to tell you it’ll all be over soon, because I don’t know that.

But I am here to tell you that you’re not alone.

Because I’m doing it, too. Miles away from you, I’m spreading butter on toast for a pajama-clad little one before sunrise, yet again.

You may feel alone, but you’re not.

Years from now, you’ll look back on these days and see the superwoman that you’re being for your child.

So carry on. And know that you’re a rockstar.

xox another exhausted mom


I Miss The Village

Every day I go about my life: drive my children to and fro, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, and change my baby’s diapers in my four-walled house while the world buzzes around me busy and fast. My little plays on the floor and I watch him pluck toy after toy out of the large box in the corner of the room and although my life is rich with many things, I think about you because I miss the village.



I miss the village I never had. The one with mothers doing the washing side by side, clucking and laughing hysterically, tired in body but quick in spirit. We’d know each other so well: annoying one another from time to time, but never staying mad long because the truth is, we need each other.



The children would wake up early, as they tend to, and run outside, finding each other amongst the tall trees. They’d disappear into the field and forest for a day of play as we’d start our sacred work. We’d knead bread side by side, the littles at our feet, breasts, on our backs and in our arms. It would be impossible to tell whose children belonged to whom — we’d all attend to the group of toddling wee ones, check on the deeply breathing babies, wave little hands off of our floured table, pinch cheeks and kiss boo-boos.



The days would be full of conversation as we expertly flexed a muscle that has since gone weak: the art of listening. Quiet empathy in lieu of passive judgement, and when called for, gentle, sincere advice. In our village, our members are our estate and we build them up.



We’d laugh — too much and never enough at the same time. Whether it be stifled giggles overflowing out of covered mouths like a pot of water bubbling over or donkey brays loud enough to wake the children, we’d be skilled at finding the joy in the mundane.



We’d cry — never alone, but shoulder to shoulder over unborn children gone too soon or men who changed their minds. We’d stitch back the frayed edges of each other’s lives the best we could, wiping the tears off of each other’s cheeks. If any of us became lost in the darkness, we’d journey into the depths of her heart and pull her body back to shore.



When mealtime came we’d set the food out on long tables and the children would eat happily and hungrily, as they tend to when in the company of other small people. They’d talk about their adventures and, to their exaggerated disappointment, we’d make them take the younger children this time to teach them what we already know: we exist for each other.



When one of was feeling sick or needed extra rest from a long night up with a child, we’d swoop in and tend to your children as we would our own for as long as necessary — no need to even ask. You would drift off to a healing sleep with full confidence. We’d want you to be well because we’d know that we’re only as strong as our weakest member — and not only that, we’d love you, not with the sappy love of greeting cards, but with an appreciative love that has full knowledge of how your colors add to our patchwork.



You’d know me and I’d know you. I’d know your children, and you’d know mine. Not just on a surface level — favorite foods, games and such — but real, true knowledge of the soul that flickers behind their eyes. I’d trust them in your arms just as much as I’d trust them in mine. They’d respect you and heed your “no.”
And as our children grew up and out and our skin went paper thin, we’d keep making bread, sharing it with tea, stories of beautiful grandchildren, and how things used to be.



I miss that village of mothers that I’ve never had. The one we traded for homes that, despite being a stone’s throw, feel miles apart from each other. The one we traded for locked front doors, blinking devices and afternoons alone on the floor playing one-on-one with our little ones.



What gives me hope is that as I look at you from across the park with your own child in tow playing in her own corner of the sandbox, I can tell from your curious glance and shy smile that you miss it, too.



Maybe we’ll have it again. But for today, I’ll invite you and your little one over for tea. And maybe bread.



The Four Types of Mom-Somnia


The kids are finally sleep, why aren’t you?If you’re reading this at 2AM, or 4AM, staring into the dark wondering why you haven’t floated away to dreamland yet, you have it. Counting sheep doesn’t work. Tightly closing your eyes will just give you a headache. Staring daggers at your husband who manages to fall into a deep sleep the second his head hits the pillow won’t help either but it’s still recommended.You have a case of Mom-somnia.The Four Causes of Mom-somnia1. Endless Worrying Nobody tells you how much of being a mom involves imaging all of the terrible things that could happen at anytime to the person you care most about in the world. We are literally thinking about this all the time. Why do you think we have our carseats inspected and cut grapes?Moms are always worried but it reaches new heights during nighttime when we finally have a quiet minute to ourselves. A typical mom-somniac’s worries:

  • If your kid’s cough is really just a cough or some terrible incurable disease (thanks Google)
  • The state of the entire world you brought your kid into. (thanks 24-hour news cycle)
  • If your spouse still loves you because he was snippy at dinner. Ok, maybe you were snippy first and he was snippy back but that’s not the point
  • Your own health and what if something happened to you and OMG THE CHILDREN!!!

2. The Never Ending To Do List 

Being a mom is kind of like being an air traffic controller. All of your tasks and the emotional state of everyone in your family are constantly on your radar and you develop small ulcers trying to keep them from colliding.


People with mom-somnia have a little yapping dog on their shoulder that randomly whispers To Dos into their ear just as they’re getting sleepy.


“You forgot to send in the summer camp forms,” the annoying but smart Yorkshire Terrier barks. “Camp is going to fill up and then you’ll lose your mind trying to keep them busy with crappy crafts for three months.”


“You need to soak the crock pot.”


“Your cell phone bill was due yesterday.”


“Ready to plan another birthday party?”


“Did you take your birth control?”


“Front door locked?”


“Stove off?”


The dog doesn’t know when to shut up. No sleep for you.



3. Being Afraid to Fall Asleep

No, you’re not 12 years old and didn’t just watch The Nightmare of Elm Street. You’re a mom of a teething toddler or 7-year old who can’t mange to get his own 2AM cup of water. Children can sense when their parents have finally achieved deep sleep and usually take that moment to violently snap them out of it.


The feeling of waking up suddenly to a child’s scream after you’ve just drifted off is pretty much hell on Earth.


So there you are in bed, eyes open because you know the second they close you’ll have an explosive diaper to change or small person’s back to rub while they beg for a string cheese.

4. Just Enjoying the SilenceThis form of mom-somnia is self-induced. After a day of meeting everyone else’s needs there are few things as delicious as a silent, dark house. It’s like a vacation. A spa, minus all of the steam and fresh towels.
You get to sip your tea (Long Island Iced Tea, of course), watch non-animated television shows, eat without hands grabbing at your food, lie down without having anyone jump on your chest, and breathe.
It feels downright luxurious. Even at midnight. I mean, who doesn’t love Facebook creeping on exes, taking BuzzFeed quizzes and doing it all with a giant bowl of chips in their lap?
Yeah you know you’ll pay for it tomorrow.
But that’s what coffee was invented for.


Thoughts Moms Have While Making Dinner

Why am I even cooking? They hate everything I make anyway.

I should buy organic meat. I wonder how many chemicals are in this crap. I read somewhere that meat with antibiotics makes kids go through puberty earlier. As if we need more meltdowns around here. I guess it doesn’t really matter since I’ll have to bribe and threaten them to eat more than three bites.

I should serve a vegetable of some kind…do apple slices count? Apples are almost vegetables. I mean, they’re produce. Maybe broccoli. Is broccoli cooked in the microwave even healthy or does the radiation cancel out the vitamins? Peas. They won’t eat them but I least I tried. I think I can have some in the freezer. Microwaved peas counts.

I’m so sick of making dinner. I can’t believe I have to do this until they’re 18. How do I spend so much money on groceries when they don’t even eat? I wonder what excuse they’ll come up for why my food is inedible tonight. Too spicy even though the only spice I used is literally salt? Too hot? Because blowing on your own food would be too difficult, right? Too much food? Because 1/3 of a cup of meat, vegetables and pasta is quite the feast.

Do toddlers all decide that crying at the feet of their parents is best done during dinner? I’d love to hold you but doing so while draining boiling hot pasta isn’t exactly ideal. I’ve tripped over this child three times in the past half hour, once while holding a chopping knife. Cooking around here feels like an episode of The Amazing Race and the prize is dirty dishes.

Why do they always beg for scraps while I’m cooking but look at the finished meal like it’s a vomit salad with vomit dressing topped with vomit croutons?

One of these days I’m just going to throw white bread, peanut butter, and jelly on the table and tell them to fend for themselves.

There’s the phone again. No, this isn’t a good time. 5PM is never a good time. How do they not know that by now?

Before kids I thought dinner was supposed to be family time. Now I know it’s the final stand before bedtime.

I’m exhausted. Are moms supposed to be this tired? Mothers on paper towel commercials always look so full of energy in their white jeans and 3/4 sleeve tops. Stupid white jeans. What kind of mom would wear white jeans? A mom who is being paid to pretend one paper towel is enough to clean up an entire jug of spilled Kool-Aid, that’s who.

I feel like I’m on an episode of Chopped. I’d like to see the people on Chopped try to make food with kids telling them that it “smells weird” and “I don’t like that” every three seconds. And then have the judges refuse to taste the food because “it looks weird.” And then of course those same judges would proclaim their hunger five minutes before bedtime.

If these kids comes into the kitchen begging for a snack one more time I’m going to lose my mind. Are they really asking me to stop making food so that I can ruin their already barely there appetite? Because that makes sense. Yes, let me put making dinner on pause to give you a bowl of cereal so you can reject the food I’m making even faster. What do they think I’m doing in here? Crossword puzzles? Kitchen yoga?

I wonder when they’ll start asking “what’s for dessert.” This ain’t a damn bakery, dessert is whatever you can find. Do they think I’m Betty Crocker? Look, I pin desserts, I don’t make them.

It would be nice to have one family meal where nobody cried but I know that’s asking a lot. Or maybe a meal where the baby doesn’t chuck his meal across the room like this is some kind of cafeteria food fight.

Well, I guess dinner is ready. Here goes nothing. I should have ordered pizza.