Stuff Moms Say
Motherhood, Surrogacy

How To Give Back To Humanity This Year

If you are looking around at the world and you want to give back in some way this year, you may be a little lost for options. There are just so many things going on in this world that it can seem nearly impossible to fix anything. The truth of the matter is that we will never be able to solve anything by ourselves. However, there are ways to solve smaller problems that directly impact the world around you. By taking a small step, by even impacting just one life, you will be changing the world.

If you are ready to give back to humanity this year, here are a few different options that you have:

Become A Surrogate

If you are looking to make a big impact that will last for generations, becoming a surrogate mother in Pennsylvania, or any other state where it is legal, is a fantastic option. When you carry a baby for another family, perhaps one that cannot have a child without the help of someone else, you have no idea the size of the impact you are making.

Becoming a surrogate mother is a long process that requires you to get into physical shape to do it (though most people in the age range will fit into the requirements) and then going through a medical procedure to get implanted with the embryo of the baby. You will have to take care of yourself and the growing baby for the length of your pregnancy. Then, you get to release this baby to a new family and allow them all to build a life that will impact many others.

Start Picking Up Litter

While none of us can solve the worldwide litter issue, we can start making decisions that will help those around us. If you take a walk after dinner every night, just take a plastic bag with you and fill it with litter that you find along the way. If you are walking to a trashcan to throw your own litter away, pick up something along the way. If you do this, you may want to carry some hand sanitizer with you to keep you feeling clean.

When you start picking up litter and people see you doing so, it will create a chain where maybe people will start cleaning up after themselves and picking up other litter they’ve seen. Even if you want to start small, try waiting for trashcans to throw away your gum or ensuring that all of your trash gets picked up.

Consider Composting

If you are interested in making the world better by cleaning up and picking up litter doesn’t appeal to you, you may want to start composting. Many of us have quite a bit of trash when we cook and we just throw it away, but that is making our world far more disgusting. Rotting food isn’t helping any of us. By composting, you cut back on greenhouse gasses and you get some great soil to use for your plants.

Anything that was living at some point can go into your compost barrel. There are large ones that go into your yard and smaller ones that you can sit on your counter that you can then transfer outside.

Volunteer At Your Local Library

Your local library is probably struggling quite a bit, but it actually helps out a large number of people. Every day, there will patrons that show up to apply for jobs, read books, check out the newspaper, and learn something new. Most libraries have classes that teach people how to use a computer, how to speak English, how to read, and how to do any number of skills. If you have any type of skills, you can volunteer your time to give back.

Even if you don’t have space in your schedule to do something on a weekly basis, you can ask about volunteering for sales, helping out with specific programs, or even just donating some money or books to the library.

These are just a few ways to give back to your community in the coming year. Sometimes, just having a smile on your face and talking to people will be enough to give back to the world. In a time when we are getting increasingly sucked into our phones and ourselves, giving back to humanity can be one of the best things that you do.


How Much Surrogates Make – And What They Do With It

If you are interested in becoming a Surrogate, you may have some questions about how much they make, why they make that money, and what they do with it. It is a common question for anyone who is interested in doing this extraordinary thing. Surrogates carry a baby for Intended Parents who cannot do so themselves. It is a somewhat lengthy process that requires the Surrogate mother to be healthy and take care of herself extremely well.

Surrogates carry out a task that is vital to building so many families, but there is still much that is unknown about becoming a surrogate. If you are interested in becoming a Surrogate, here is just a breakdown of some of the information about surrogacy compensation:

How Much Do Surrogates Make?

The amount of money that surrogates make depends on the agency that you work with, the type of surrogacy you complete, and how many babies you carry. For instance, how much surrogates get paid in Utah is different from how much surrogates make in another state. The amount can also vary by agency.

Surrogates perform a vital task to build families, so they get compensated appropriately. When you work with a surrogacy agency, you are guaranteed your payment if you do indeed become a surrogate. Often, you are paid a base salary of a certain number – but that won’t be the final amount of money that you are paid.

There are numbers associated with everything that you do – from buying new maternity clothes to traveling to appointments, getting massages to need a c-section. Think of these are “a la carte” options for your surrogacy. Some agencies won’t cover massages and maternity clothes while others will. Some even include housekeeping. Your caseworker should go over all of this information before you sign any documents.

If you decide to become a Surrogate a second time, like so many people do, you will end up getting a higher base salary. The same thing is true if you are interested in carrying multiple babies at one time.

What Is Included In Surrogate Compensation?

As mentioned above, there are many things included in Surrogate compensation – some of the things that can be included are:

  • Massages
  • Housekeeping
  • Babysitting
  • Maternity Clothing
  • Gym Memberships
  • Vacations
  • Travel Costs
  • Medical Costs
  • Food Costs
  • C-Section Bonus
  • Multiple Bonus
  • Individual Gifts

Many of these costs aren’t guaranteed, especially the ones related to the birth of the child. There are also some things that may not be included in the coverage. Particularly, most surrogacy agencies require that the Surrogate has her own insurance, so medical insurance isn’t covered. However, there are some agencies that are willing to help you get insurance if you do not have any.

What Do Surrogates Do With That Money?

If you are interested in becoming a Surrogate, there are many things that may be swimming through your head. One of those things is what you will do with that money. Many Surrogates will keep working throughout the pregnancy, meaning they can use this money for something other than simply existing. In the past, Surrogates have used their compensation to pay off student loans, put down payments on their homes, go back to school, start college funds for their children, start a retirement fun, start their own businesses, and so much more. There are so many opportunities with this payment. 

Other Surrogates use this as a chance to take some time off of work to raise their own children. Maybe they feel like they are missing too much, they are moving somewhere new and don’t have a job set up just yet, or they are tired of working in their jobs and they want to try something new. 

The most important thing is that you aren’t only doing this for the money. Yes, it is easy to understand why people would want to do this to make money. However, you do have to realize that with any medical procedure, there are risks associated. This is why surrogacy compensation is so high and why so many surrogacy agencies are so picky when it comes to selecting surrogates. However, if you do become a Surrogate, it is going to change your life and change the lives of the Intended Parents forever.


Modern Medical Advancements That Changed The World – Surrogacy Medical Procedures etc.

It is amazing that we live in a world with so much innovation. It seems amazing that just a few hundred years ago, someone getting a cut was enough to render them left for dead. A lot has changed the health world, including indoor plumbing and science. There are many, many modern medical advancements that stand out as “game-changers” but some stand to make the biggest impact on the largest amount of people.

Here are our choices:


One of the most amazing scientific and innovative phenomena that ever happened in the last few decades is surrogacy medical procedures.  The idea that the egg and sperm of other people can be joined together and implanted into a surrogate is mind-boggling for so many people – to the point where surrogacy is misunderstood by a large number of people. The newest surrogacy methods have proven to be even more successful than doctors had ever dreamed about, ensuring that everyone who wants to be a parent can become one. 

Of course, surrogacy is still a costly medical procedure that requires a willing surrogate. Time will only tell just how much further this medical marvel will go – will there be a time when we don’t even need a surrogate?


Communicable diseases can be traced back to every major event in human history. We have been able to eradicate so many deadly diseases because of the use of vaccines. It started with a vaccine for smallpox and has only gotten better from there. Now we have vaccines against chickenpox, malaria, rubella, measles, tetanus, diphtheria, and typhus, amongst others.

The polio vaccine, in particular, changed the world in the best of ways. While some people have negative feelings toward vaccines, there is no denying just how impactful they have been.


Our ability to “kill” things that enter our bodies have changed the population and the world forever. Antibiotics work hand-in-hand with vaccines to kill communicable diseases. Another cure that was accidentally discovered, it has become one of the best tools in a doctor’s arsenal. Antibiotics came after a doctor discovered a mold can actually help treat bacterial illnesses. Today, we use it to fight everything from infections after a dental procedure to AIDs. 

Can you imagine a world where infections automatically killed you? Now, we have to be careful about using antibiotics too much because people are actually developing a resistance to them.

Birth Control Pill

There have been few medical advancements that have had such a widespread, life-changing impact as the birth control pill. While it is a slightly controversial medical advancement, it has allowed women to choose when, how, and why they become parents. 

Women are now able to go to school, join the workforce, and choose the partner with whom they start a family – it is hard to imagine a world without it. While there have been other advancements and choices for women who chose to control their own fertility, the birth control pill remains the standard for most people.


Glasses are one of the biggest medical breakthroughs in the last few hundred years. Can you imagine that people just didn’t see well before that? Centuries ago, there were prototypes that were eventually used to create glasses as we know now. However, the look and feel of glasses weren’t developed until the late 1800s. Before, people had to hold a glass to their eyes to see, which wasn’t handy and meant they couldn’t be doing anything that required two hands.

These are just a few of the modern medical advancements that stand out amongst the rest of them, but it is by far not an exhaustive list. There are so many more medical instruments that could be here (x-rays, Sedasys, thermometers, stethoscopes, pacemakers, MRIs, prosthetics, and defibrillators), treatments that could be here (chemotherapy, transfusions, trials, organ transplants, Anaesthesia, and laser surgeries), and there are so many promising techniques, tools, and tricks that are on the cutting edge of medicine. 


An Overview of the Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy

An Overview of the Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy

Gestational surrogacy whereby the surrogate is not in any way related to the unborn child she is carrying is one of the most common today, especially in Las Vegas. This option of enjoying parenthood has assisted a lot of couples, surrogate Las Vegas and as well as individuals to bring up their own families and this explains its growing popularity. If you are considering this path to parenthood there are a few important things that you should know about how it works and the costs involved. Here are some of the requirements for gestational surrogacy that you ought to know.

What is Gestational Surrogacy, Who might be Considering it and What are the Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy?

In this type of surrogacy, the child so born is not related to its mother, referred to as a gestational carrier, biologically. The embryo is usually created using the in vitro fertilization (IVF) method using the sperm and eggs of the intended donors or parents. The embryo is then transferred to the surrogate.

This type of surrogacy is referred to as full or host surrogacy. This type of surrogacy is less legally complicated compared to the other types as one of the intended parents or donors is related to the child genetically. This eradicates the need for second-parent or stepparent adoption. The following group of people might consider going for gestational surrogacy;

  •  Optimistic single parents
  •  People struggling with infertility
  •  A person who is unable to carry a pregnancy for the whole term
  •  Same-sex couples
  •  People who prefer to have a child through a surrogate but don’t want the child to have a genetic link with its mother.

Requirements for Gestational Surrogacy

The first thing among the various requirements for gestational surrogacy is finding a suitable surrogate. There are agencies that you can use to assist you in landing the best surrogate to help carry your child to term.

These agencies usually prefer to have the surrogates aged between 21 to 39 years old, have a BMI of 18 – 32, they must have given birth and at least raising one child and hold OB/GYN records. They should also be non-smokers living in a non-smoker room and their records should not have uncomplicated deliveries or pregnancies documented.

You must also consider the gestational surrogacy laws that exist in your state, as they are normally determined by each state on its own. There are some states that do not allow any form of surrogacy at all. You can get an attorney or other professional to help you understand the various gestational surrogacy laws that apply in your state before making the decision.

The next and very important requirement is the cost involved in gestational surrogacy. The cost is often determined by a number of things such as the surrogate, medical technology used as well as the monthly allowance and compensation for the surrogate mother. On average, gestational surrogacy might cost in the range of $75,000 – $150,000. This figure consists of legal fees agency fees, counseling costs and the living expenses as well as the compensation of the surrogate mother.

Although this process seems long and somewhat a challenge, it is a rewarding experience for optimistic parents who want to expand their families. Or experience the joys and challenges of raising their own child. Following all the above requirements for gestational surrogacy will ensure that you go through the process successfully.



Surrogacy For Gay Couples

Surrogacy For Gay Couples

Today, it is normal to see same-sex marriages everywhere in the world. However, since it is impossible for these gay and lesbian couples to have babies on their own, surrogacy is the only other option to have babies besides adoption.

Surrogacy for gay couples involves taking semen from one of the partners and combines with an egg from a donor. When the embryos are produced, they are artificially planted onto the womb of the gestational carrier, according to This is a woman who agrees to carry the pregnancy for the couple and deliver the baby for them.

Surrogacy tips for gay couples

Most of the gay couples looking to have a baby through In Vitro Fertilization do not have a wide group of surrogates to choose from. It is for this reason that many gay couples choose a relative or a friend to act as the surrogate. However, there are agencies that are coming up for this sole reason. These agencies provide gay couples with surrogates for a fee that is agreed upon between the couple and the gestation carrier.

Below are some of the tips to consider in case of surrogacy for gay couples:

  • The woman should have had previous childbirths without  complications. The period of pregnancy should also have been uneventful.
  •  The woman should be stable emotionally and physically and healthy too.
  • In order to be certain, it is crucial that a full evaluation be done on the woman. You should have a lawyer. This is because there has to be signed agreements and consents between the gay couple and the surrogate. These documents should include the amount payable to the surrogate, the payment terms and conditions and the responsibilities of the surrogate. These documents are important because they can be reviewed in case of disagreements later due to a breach of trust.
  • A lawyer is also necessary to help you through all the legal requirements when you are going for surrogacy for gay couples. This is because there are many regulations and laws surrounding this subject. It is therefore imperative to ensure that you fully understand and comply with these laws.
  • Do a proper research on the surrogacy agency you choose. In case you choose to get your surrogate from an agency, it is important that you carefully go through their terms and conditions before you pick your surrogate. This is because different agencies have different policies concerning their interactions with gay couples looking for surrogates. With proper background checks and research, you are in a better position to choose the best agency to get your surrogate.

Surrogacy for Gay Couples

Above all the listed tips, it is essential to get the In Vitro Fertilization from an experienced and qualified medical practitioner. This is because it increases the chances of getting a healthy pregnancy and delivery. It also ensures that the process is safe for both the surrogate and the baby.

The practitioner should have the legal documents to show they are legit and registered by the necessary authority. Their price ranges should also be affordable to you. Very cheap prices are however a red flag because they may mean that they are not very efficient in their job.



Requirements to be an Egg Donor and a Surrogate Mother

Surrogacy is one of the most significant undertakings a person can take in her life. When you agree to be a surrogate mother, you are not only giving up your body and your energy, it will feel like you are giving a small piece of yourself. The decision to become a surrogate mother isn’t one that can be taken lightly, according to

Instead, it is a decision that will need to come after willful thinking and even some discussion with your family and friends. Still, those that decide to help another family become complete are giving the most precious of gifts.

As you journey down the path, you will find that being a surrogate mother or a gestational carrier has many positives and you will learn quite a bit about yourself as you help others. Many start being a surrogate mother to receive the financial compensation, but find that they get much more out of it than money.

Requirements to be an Egg Donor and a Surrogate Mother

Some of the most important qualities to be a surrogate mother aren’t things that we can measure or test in a traditional sense – you need to be compassionate, committed, safe, healthy, and mentally stable. You need to be safe while you are pregnant and giving birth so that the baby can be safe – you are an important part of this mixture. Being a surrogate mother or an egg donor means that a lot is expected of you.

Every surrogacy institute and egg donor resource has slightly different requirements for someone to be an egg donor or a surrogate mother. Some of the most basic requirements are the same, however

  •         Between 21-39 years of age
  •         BMI between 18-34
  •         Being a non-smoker living in a non-smoking home
  •         No history of clinical mental illness or current treatments
  •         Have had a successful pregnancy yourself
  •         Certain medications can make you ineligible
  •         Free of certain medical conditions

These are just a few of the most basic requirements. There are a few others that can increase your chances of being chosen as a surrogate. Most of the ones above focused on creating a healthy physical environment for the baby you will carry. Two of the most important ones that often make women ineligible include:

  •         Not currently on governmental financial support or Welfare
  •         Financially sound without help from intended parents

Many women can be wonderful mothers and take care of their families while getting help from the government – and many families have gotten through on government aid. However, this is a risk factor that many intended parents take into account when they are selecting a surrogate.

Women who receive government aid tend to have more stress in their lives and tend to work more jobs, which can make the pregnancy harder.

Being pregnant is a stressful enough situation, so adding to that is worse when the surrogate mother still has to work jobs or faces other stress.

  •         No history of criminal activity/unlawful behaviors
  •         A stable, responsible lifestyle without stress or other risk factors

A surrogate mother needs to be an upstanding citizen. A prospective surrogate will have to give information about her past when she fills out forms, and it is unlikely that an intended couple will pick someone who has a criminal history, even if that person has completely changed over the years.

It should seem obvious why people want to know so much about surrogate mothers and their history – you are giving them one of the most precious things they will ever have: a child. It might seem intrusive at times, but if you work with a qualified surrogacy or egg donor agency, you are going to have treatment that will be respectful and tactful – you do not have to worry about feeling like you are put on show.

Take some time to think about whether or not you really want to be a surrogate, and if you meet the requirements above, then you can move on to thinking about helping a family grow.


Motherhood, Tips

Five Things Toddler Moms Know To Be True

Being a toddler parent is like being part of a special club: a club of unwashed, tired people who live on broken goldfish crackers, dinner scraps, and coffee.


5 Things Toddler Moms Know To Be True 

 1. If you want to wipe a toddler’s nose you have to sneak up on them like a ninja assassin. This is why we wear soft-soled shoes. So they can’t hear us creeping up from behind with a tissue in hand. The next step is to put your toddler into what looks to the outside world like a chokehold but we know we’re just keeping their head still we get all of those boogers.
2. Baby wipes are not just for baby butts. Baby wipes can double as a toddler mom shower on days you don’t make it into the actual bathtub. They’re also great for wiping up stubborn vomit or yogurt that exploded in your diaper bag. Baby wipes are to toddler moms what a swiss army knife is to a survivalist.
3. Crying = better sleep. Toddler moms know that the harder a kid cries at the park, the harder that child will sleep later on. The trick is to not let them fall asleep in the car. Headbanger rock or gangster rap pumped at high volumes and keeping the windows down can help with that.
4. Toddlers want what you have. The trick to getting a toddler to eat is letting them think they’re stealing from you. If you act like your bowl of rice is your greatest treasure and that you’ll be devastated should your toddler take a bite, your kid will probably eat the whole thing while maintaining eye contact to make sure you’re suffering.
5. Never celebrate a win. Is your toddler sleeping through the night? Does your toddler finally seem potty trained? If you dare brag on Facebook your child will instantly regress six months. This is a fact of the universe. We don’t make up the rules, we just live by them.



Welcome to the club.

Dear Mom. I Get It Now.

Dear Mom,

It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I began to understand what it is you did for me.

Now I know what it feels like to meet your baby for the first time and feel your heart explode in joy.

Now I know what it feels like to sit up all night with a feverish child.

Now I know what it feels like to go to bed knowing you did all you could but wishing you could have done more.

Now I know what exhaustion really means; not just your body being tired but your mind, every fiber of your being so spent, and then seeing that it’s only 4PM.

I know what it’s like to wake up every two hours with a newborn who needs to be fed and changed in the darkness of their room.

I know what it’s like to put a meal together only to have it rejected over and over again.

I know what it feels like to feel like it’s all too much sometimes.

I know what it feels like to wish there were five of you so you can get it all done.

I know, now.

And I want to say thank you. Thank you for being there, for not giving up, for not checking out or running away. Thanks for being there for me when I needed you the most.

You’re an inspiration to me. You rocked me, fed me, clothed me, and loved me even when you felt like closing your eyes and falling into bed.

Your sacrifice is not wasted. I’m who I am because of what you poured into my life.

I’m a mom now and have my own little one. On my hardest days I’ll look at my child and remember five little words that will make all the difference, “She did it for me.” You did it for me, I can do it for them.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Love, your child.


The Five Moms You Meet On Facebook

Anyone else notice that there are five specific types of moms on Facebook? Here’s how they’d all respond to a simple question in one of those local Facebook groups.

Hey moms! My 2-year-old has a fever. Any advice? 

1. The Perfect Mom

“Oh poor you! My little one has never been sick on account of his amazing immune system. We also eat an organic, local, paleo, sugar-free, cruelty-free, vegan diet and he’s never had dessert. Homeschooling also cuts down on illnesses. I just finished creating his third grade curriculum and can’t believe he’s reading two years ahead of his peers. Did I mention his immune system? He tested three immune systems ahead of his age group. Good luck with your little one!”

2. The Mommy Shaming Mom 

“Shouldn’t you be calling a doctor and not on Facebook? What if your child’s fever spreads to their brain? Just please keep your little sickie home so he doesn’t infect the healthy children at the park. I hope you’ve stopped reading this and are taking care of your child. Maybe if you’d paid more attention in the first place your child wouldn’t have contracted the virus causing the fever. Way to go.”

3. The One-Upper Mom

“Fever? My child has ebola right now. It’s awful. And a broken ankle. And she stutters. And don’t forget the eczema. Here’s a link to 40 photos where you can see her skin rashes in full HD Feel free to print them out.”

4. The Natural Mom

“Fevers are a sign that your child’s root chakra is cloudy. Are you breastfeeding? I hope so. Mix two tablespoons of turmeric, 8 ounces of breastmilk, and one teaspoon of raw manuka honey in a marble bowl and that should clear right up. I also recommend a crystal healing session to clear any issues that are still lingering from your child’s birth experience. If you had a c-section that explains a lot.

5. The Relaxed Mom 

“Eh. Slap some Tylenol on that and it should go away on it’s own.”


Dear Exhausted Mom

Dear Exhausted Mom,

I know you can’t remember the last time you had a good night’s sleep. I know you’re trying to remember what being rested feels like. I know you’re tired of being up before the sun, making breakfast while it’s still dark, and being so tired you could cry…or do cry.I’m not here to make it better because I can’t.

I’m not here to tell you it’ll all be over soon, because I don’t know that.

But I am here to tell you that you’re not alone.

Because I’m doing it, too. Miles away from you, I’m spreading butter on toast for a pajama-clad little one before sunrise, yet again.

You may feel alone, but you’re not.

Years from now, you’ll look back on these days and see the superwoman that you’re being for your child.

So carry on. And know that you’re a rockstar.

xox another exhausted mom