A Toddler’s Food Diary
– Three small bites of the oatmeal I gestured to and made monkey sounds at until my mom made it. The rest of it is currently in the sink.
– Six Tic Tacs that mommy gave me so that I’d be quiet during an episode of Orphan Black.
-Three Cheerios found between the couch cushions.
– Half of a string cheese.
– The scent of one banana.
-1/8th a square of toilet paper.
– What may have been a raisin.
– The liquid from a baby wipe (sucked it out while she was in the bathroom).
– 3-4 pieces of hardened debris from last night’s dinner. Found it in my highchair.
– 12-15 grains of rice
– Tablespoon of shredded chicken
– 1/3 of a carrot stick
– Half of a bread crust found in the trash
– My own tears/snot
– Four crackers (I crushed the fifth one and sprinkled it into her bra)
– A bunch of halved grapes
– More couch snacks. I think it was an apple chip.
– The dust between buttons on the remote
– One pump of lotion
– 6 gallons of my own bath water