Dear Perfect Mom I Wanted To Be,

You’re probably really disappointed in me. Look around. The house is a mess. I know you thought I’d be the type of mom who would never have toys covering her living room floor. Right now my family room looks like a cross between Target’s toy aisle and a laundromat but with more crumbs. Sorry.

Look at my kitchen. I know the plan was to be the type of mom who never went to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, but after cooking, convincing the kids to eat, giving them baths, and finally getting them into bed, I’m tired. Anyway, some of those pans need to soak.

Look at me. I always said I’d be the kind of mom who would eat right, take care of herself, and never wear the same stretch pants and t-shirts day in and day out, but what can I say…I don’t have a lot of time to think about fashion. I spend my days chasing a toddler who is surprisingly fast- skinny jeans, skimpy designer tank tops that can’t contain my *cough* ample mom boobs, and heels just aren’t practical. No, I don’t look like those celebrity moms you see picking up their kids at preschool looking perfectly dressed down but dressed up at the same time. I look more like a yoga instructor who doesn’t actually do any yoga. Oh that stain, I think my kid wiped his nose on my pants. Change over a bit of snot, are you kidding?

Look, Perfect Mom I Wanted To Be, we had a lot of plans. My kids were going to be expertly disciplined and would never have meltdowns in public or walk out of the house wearing two different shoes. I was never going to yell. I was going to go grocery shopping several times a week at farmer’s markets and make meals straight from the Food Network. I was going to wash, fold, and put away laundry every day so that it would never get out of control. I was going to be perfect.

We had a lot of ideas, but life got in the way.

My living room is full of toys because happy kids live here. My kitchen sink is full of dishes because fed people live here. I’m wearing head to toe frayed 100% stretch cotton because I found my worth in who I am, not just what I look like. And these clothes are damn comfortable. It’s like walking around in a blanket. You should try it.

Sorry to disappoint you, but things are a lot better than they look. I learned that motherhood isn’t about projecting an image but being with the people who make my messy, crazy, and exhausting life complete. It’s hard to see the love in the mess from so high up on that high horse. Come down and have a look. You might like what you see.

xo Me