Stuff Moms Say
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10 Reasons Why Dinner Time Is Actually The Worst

I feel the dread rise up every day at around 3PM. Dinner time is coming. Before I became a mom I thought my family’s evening meal would look like one of those Hamburger Helper commercials. You’ve seen them: the mom slowly places a casserole dish in the middle of the table. The children’s eyes grow […]

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Dear Mommy, Thank you

Dear Mommy, I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but thank you. Thank you for carrying me inside you for 40, no, 41 weeks. I know it wasn’t easy. You were sick. Really sick. And you still went to work, sneaking away to toss your cookies in a stall several times a day. One […]

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Dear Mom of The Difficult Kid

Dear Mom of the Difficult Kid, I know you feel judged.While the other children are laughing, yours is crying. While the other children are playing, yours is tantruming. While the other children are holding hands running through the park giggling amongst the dandelions, yours is hiding behind your knees, clutching your pants for dear life, […]

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A Toddler’s Food Diary  

A Toddler’s Food Diary Breakfast – Milk – Three small bites of the oatmeal I gestured to and made monkey sounds at until my mom made it. The rest of it is currently in the sink. – Six Tic Tacs that mommy gave me so that I’d be quiet during an episode of Orphan Black. […]

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The Two Step Trick To Getting An Amazing Post-Baby Body  

So you just had a baby. Congrats! Now before you get too comfortable, you should know that celebrities generally take between 10-15 seconds to lose all of their baby weight so you’re already behind schedule. Remember, the goal is to remove all traces that you were ever pregnant from your body as quickly as you […]

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My Kid Is A Shitty Sleeper

Did you know that sleep deprivation, like waterboarding, is considered a form of torture in international courts? That makes sense because as I sit here with my coffee at the kitchen table littered with plastic licensed Disney cups, half-eaten string cheeses and cracker crumbs, I gotta admit, I feel traumatized. Last night was hell. First, […]

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Dear Husband, You’re Not Dying. You Have A Cold.

Dear husband, Having a cold is hard, I know. I hear you coughing, sniffling, and moaning…do you have a fever? I’m happy to run out and get you some medicine if that’s what you need. A cold washcloth, sure. Orange juice? Fine. But hubby? There’s something I need you to know. You are not dying. […]

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The Real Reason Motherhood Is So Hard

Motherhood. It’s hard, but few understand why. It’s not the day to day tasks, really: caring for children, kissing boo boos, and all of that.It’s the giving. The endless giving of yourself. You’ve never given so much in your life. You give until it hurts and then you give some more. You give until you’re […]

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Dear Mom of the Tantruming Toddler in Target

Dear Mom of the Tantruming Toddler in Target, I know youre embarrassed. I can see your eyes darting left and right as you try to scoop your screaming, hysterical child off of the grocery store floor. Your face is red. Im pretty sure those are tears in your eyes. Youre wearing black stretch pants and […]

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How To Laundry While Being A Mom  

  Step 1: Locate the multiple baskets of clothes in your living room. Remove random toys and mail from baskets. Go through them, giving each item a smell/visual check. If they’ve been worn, place them back into the basket. If they’re extremely dirty, place them into the washing machine. Step 2: Add 2x the recommended […]